Chapter 5- The Benefits (Part II)
How much time do I get outta here?
“We are at our very best, and we are happiest when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy, and on the journey toward the goal we’ve established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off, and comfort to our sleep.”
–Earl Nightingale, Author and Motivational Speaker.
JANE, a wannabe stand-up comedian strolls back and forth across a dark stage, working a very bored, sparse crowd. A lone spotlight shines on her.
JANE: So my boyfriend Eddie and I are planning a vacation, not something we normally get to do together because we keep unbelievably opposite schedules. He works days at a gig for a company that manages customer surveys called Survey Sampling International. He’s home, fast asleep, snoring his head off right now because he’s got an early start, and I, on the other hand, well… here I am with all of you, right? It’s midnight and I’m trying to make a buck, and will ya look at that guy in the back there—snoring! Hey buddy! Wake up! Give a girl a break!
GUY IN AUDIENCE: Say something funny already, and I’ll stay awake.
JANE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we’re trying to plan this trip, and he tells me he can take four days off. Are you kidding me? I can’t even clean out my closets in four days! Well, there goes my big, dream, Hawaiian vacation. So I proceed to complain sooooo much that Eddie finally decides to check his employee guidebook. And check this out—he realizes he actually has TEN vacation days that he can carry over from last year!! I’m like, “Dude, this SSI place totally rocks! I can’t believe you get this much time off, and that you didn’t lose it because we’re so lame and can’t get our act together to plan a trip!” So now instead of staying home cleaning closets, we’re totally going on my dream vacation to Hawaii!! Thank you SSI!
GUY IN AUDIENCE: Who cares? I’m going back to sleep.
Chapter 6- The No-Nos
What happens if I misbehave?
“It ain’t no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just as long as you don’t break any.” —Mae West, Actress, Playwright and Screenwriter.
It’s unfortunate that this chapter must be part of the guidebook, but we feel its inclusion is imperative so you understand clearly just how much value we place on mutual employee respect, and how little tolerance there is for workplace harassment. And unlike the infamous actress Mae West, known for her disarming one-liners, we believe that cracking laws is just as wrong as breaking them, and a definite “no-no.”
Play Nice in the Sandbox
Abigail, Randy, Josh, and Stella are sweet, four-year olds who enjoy playing together in their sandbox. For the most part, they get along well–sharing toys, speaking kindly, and respecting each other’s boundaries.
Randy slams his Tonka truck into Josh’s and says, “Vroom! Mine is bigger and better than yours!”
“Is not!” counters Josh.
Bored with the unending “is not, is too” one-upmanship game with Randy, Josh crosses over to the other side where the girls are playing with their Dora the Explorer shovel and pail sets.
Josh plants a quick peck on Stella’s cheek. The unwanted, surprise smooch causes Stella to throw her pail at Josh and say, “Yuck! You gave me the cooties! Take ‘em back.”
All of a sudden…
Randy hurls his truck across the sandbox, thankfully missing Josh’s head. He begins to shout, “Abigail is as ugly as her pail! Abigail is as ugly as her pail! Ha, ha, ha-ha, ha!”
Josh, Abigail and Stella join forces against Randy and throw handfuls of sand and toys at him, causing him to cry and say, “I want my mommy!”
Many years later…
Abigail, Randy, Josh, and Stella have grown into mature and professional adults who now work together at SSI. And unlike the unruly behavior they engaged in as children playing in their sandbox, they’re happy to be working in an environment where mutual respect, integrity and positivism prevail…
…Where Randy offers Josh a hearty congratulations for the great deal he just closed.
…Where Abigail shares her business acumen with Randy, so he can experience more success.
…Where Josh volunteers to help new hires acclimate to their new jobs.
…Where Stella feels safe and comfortable because she knows she’s chosen to work for a company that prides itself on maintaining a harassment-free atmosphere…unlike the sandbox, so many years ago.